1. Successful relationships take work. They don't happen in a vacuum, they occur when the couple take the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their hearts and heads.

2.You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table. so your partner knows what you need.

3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When upset occurs, check out what's going on inside of you rather than get angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren't upset for the reasons we think we are.

4. Understand that men and women are very different. We're not from Mars or Venus; we're not even in the same solar system. Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting, and fun.

5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.

6. Anger is a waste of time. Anger is also a relationship killer, because it makes you self-absorbed and won't allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what's going on for you.

7. Get regular tune-ups. Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor, or read a relationship book together at least once a year. Even if you don't think you need it, you will pick up a couple of ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.

8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together.

9. Be responsible for your own happiness No other person can make you happy. It's something you have to do on your own. If you feel it's your partner's fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.

10. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It's a simple program that really works.

A person who experiences a catastrophic event may develop ongoing difficulties known as Post.traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The traumatic event may have involved severe injury or a situation with life has been threatened (examples: victim or a witness of physical or sexual abuse, violence in the home or in the community, automobile accidents, natural disasters, etc)  Symptoms of Post-traumatic stress disorder typically start within three months of a traumatic event but n some cases they may take years to surface.  Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms may persist or they may come and go  Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms are generally grouped into three types:

!-intrusive memories. 2-Avoidance and numbing. 3- Increased anxiety or emotional arousal.

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"A Meaningful Action to prevent incidents such as the tragic one that took place in Newtown, Connecticut Include Better Funding for the Public Mental Health System. By many accounts, the public mental health system is ineffective. It can be difficult to receive quality treatment and in some cases any treatment at all. Our status quo mental health system represents a fragmented system, one in which many fall through the cracks, and is in need of drastic change. Very often, individuals without health insurance can’t and don’t receive mental health treatment. Federal and state government should stop slashing the budgets of mental health systems and realize that a mentally healthy society is less likely to produce mentally unhealthy people"

Grief is the reaction to a loss, it does not only refer to a loss of a loved one but can also include a loss of relationships, opportunities, etc.  Grief is not an event, it is rather a PROCESS and it will take time to work through.  It can affect every aspect of a person's life, emotionally, socially, and physically. It may even prompt the person to begin searching for new meaning to life. The word "Normal" is a difficult one to use describing the emotions associated with grief. Some of these emotions may include: Shock & Numbness-Denial-Confusion-Anger & Resentment- Relief-Guilt- Loneliness-Withdrawals

 

While literature provides explanations of the different stages of grief, these stages serve only as a guideline. The grief process is unpredictable with no definite order of the events that must occur. Everyone experiences grief differently and has his/her own pace moving through the stages. There is no exact time limit on grief, a person must avoid the belief that one must "Get over it", rather, the person must find ways to "Cope with it", as some aspects of the loss may stay with the person forever.  For some people it may take a year or two to move through the grief process and begin to adapt to life without his/her loved one.

 

 

Answer the following statements then add up your total score. Circle 1 for never.  Circle 2 for rarely. Circle 3 for sometimes. Circle 4 for frequently. Circle 5 for always

1- I get angry with no or little provocation. 

    1       2      3      4      5

2- I yell and/or curse.

    1       2      3      4      5

3- I feel so angry that I feel that I am going to explode with rage.

    1       2      3      4      5

4- I have a bad temper.

    1       2      3      4      5

5- I have urges to break or destroy things when I become angry.

    1       2      3      4      5

6- I have difficulties letting go of thoughts that make me angry.

    1       2      3      4      5

7- I feel tense and uptight.

    1       2      3      4      5

8- I can't tolerate incompetent people, they make me angry.

    1       2      3      4      5

9- I have urges to beat someone up when I get angry.

    1       2      3      4      5

10- I loose my temper at least once a week.

    1       2      3      4      5

11- I get angry when someone does not understand me.

    1       2      3      4      5

12- I find my self quite annoyed with some friends and family.

    1       2      3      4      5

13- I get very angry with drivers who cut me off or do not drive the exact speed limit.

    1       2      3      4      5

14- I get angry when people do things that they are not supposed to do ( example having more items than they are supposed to in the supermarket express lane)

    1       2      3      4      5

15- I am easily frustrated with equipments when they do not work properly.

    1       2      3      4      5

16-Some people always rub me the wrong way.

    1       2      3      4      5

17- I feel people always try to take advantage of me.

    1       2      3      4      5

18- I get angry when my neighbor is inconsiderate.

    1       2      3      4      5

19- My anger outbursts embarrass family and friends,

    1       2      3      4      5

20- It is very hard for me to forgive a person who made me angry in the past.

    1       2      3      4      5

21- When I get angry I blurt out things I later regret saying.

    1       2      3      4      5

Below 30: You are in a good comfort zone.

30-40: You get angry as often as most people do. Your challenge is to try lowering your score in the coming few months.

50-60: You have plenty of room for improvement. Reading a self help-book on anger management might be very helpful.

60-80: You need to work on controlling your anger in a very deliberate manor.

80 and above: Your anger expression might be interfering with your daily functioning, it would be worthwhile seeking some professional help.